if you've given up writing to watch jeff foxworthy lead prepubescent kids to embarass adults on national television, you might be disconnected

So it's been a long time since I've posted.

So what's the holdup? Well, I've been busy, of course. (smattering of applause as I accept the Lamest Excuse Ever Award) In the past month or so, I've only been online long enough to check email, hit USA Today and ESPN, read other people's new posts, and download my podcasts (I'm up to 84 - more on that in a later post.) Every now and then, I'd think to myself, I really need to write a post, or I should think about that more so I could write...you know, stuff like that. But the feeling always passed. Or, more appropriately, the feeling was always trampled by the 43 other things I had going on.

And then something occurred to me today:

There are things in life we pretty much do involuntarily. For me, this list would include: breathing, looking for food when I'm hungry, keeping an eye out for food when I'm not, and making sure Audrey's not splashing in the toilet. These things shape our lives without our really realizing it, and, in a really broad, general sense, there's not a lot we can do about them.

Then there are things we do because we decide to do them. If we do them enough, they become habit, and they become a regular part of who we are. You can decide not to do them, but then you have to deal with what not doing those things turns you into.

I think communication and connection with other people falls into the second category. It really is something you have to decide to do, and do often enough that it becomes habit, and part of who you are. You can also decide not to do it, and that can be either a conscious or subconscious decision. And life often sets itself up to where disconnected is the default position.

But having made that decision, you must then live with the person you have become. And I realized that there were conversations I needed to be having, connections that were going unconnected. And I realized I didn't like the person I had become - in, what, 30 days?

I'd become a person who had given up conversation for the next thing on the list. I'd given up thinking through things long enough to be able to articulate them for...you know what? As I type this, I can't really remember what I gave it up for.

Oh, wait. I remember now - I gave it up for Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? and Numb3rs. That's right - I traded connections for Jeff Foxworthy's bad mustache and a math geek saving the world every week.

Ouch.

So I'm back. And I owe conversations to Blair, Dave, Chris, et al - I'll get to you shortly.

Let me leave you with this word of advice: take a hard look at the things you do because you like the person you are when you do them regularly. And take a hard look before you stop doing them, and slowly become someone else.

Now if you'll excuse me, The Elf Guy From The Santa Clause is about to use his nervous twitch and a roomful of chalkboards to narrow down where The Bad Guy is to within, oh, 35 inches or so.

And he's got to do it in the next 13 minutes, including commercials.