where "here" is

Sometimes, we only put up with something in our lives because we know it's temporary, and it will get us where we ultimately want to go. We convince ourselves that we'll be fine for this short time, and it'll be worth it because, on the other side of (fill in event here), things are going to be waaay better.

When I came to Indianapolis, I knew that I would need to work a second job to supplement the income I received from the church. But that was okay, because the church owned property right on the major thoroughfare of our part of the city, and the property's estimated worth was well into six figures. When the property sold, the church would be able to support myself and my family for the period of time it would take to build the church and gather momentum in our community.

One year into our time here, we even had an agreement with a real estate developer to purchase the property, at the aforementioned price. But then they lawyered up and got out of the agreement, the real estate crisis happened, and no one has made a serious offer worth considering in the time since.

So two more years have passed. I'd reduced the amount the church pays me by half, and with the building being beyond repair, we stopped using the property for church gatherings. We met first in a veterans support center, and when that didn't work out any longer, we started meeting in our home, which we have done for the past six months.

But the 50 hour weeks at my place of employment, and the wear and tear of upwards of 40 people in my living room every Sunday, and the strain of leading the changing of a dysfunctional church culture while being a husband and father to four young children, was okay, because the property was going to sell, and I was going to get to be full-time, and everything was going to be fine.

But the building hasn't sold. And as we came to the end of our ability to maintain a property we weren't using, we came to a choice. Lease the property for three years to another church plant that had the resources and expertise to make repairs to the building, or continue to wait for it to sell.

Two weeks ago, I signed the lease.

And in the weeks before that decision, and in the time afterward, I had to struggle through this thought process: what do I do, now that the cavalry isn't coming? If the magic event that was going to change everything is no longer a possibility...then what?

I wrestled with this question for some time, because, while I knew how to sound spiritual in answering that question, I also knew that I was deeply disappointed. Frustrated. Fearful.

Over a period of several days, I came to realize what I was supposed to do: see what you have, and go from there.

It sounds simple, and I'm sure that you probably think I should have been doing this all along. And don't misunderstand: God has done wonderful things among our church family during this time, even as we've endured some tough times. But (to use a football metaphor) sometimes, in holding out for the Hail Mary pass, we start to lose sight of the game.

Plus, on any number of occasions in the writings of Scripture, people are asked to show what they have, and then God takes that and does something miraculous.

So I gathered our church family this evening, and we shared a meal together. After we ate, I asked Kristy to share what she and Brittany were working on in their discipleship course, and Brittany with Victoria, and Joshua with Shameer. Followers of Jesus training other followers of Jesus, memorizing Scripture, wrestling with meanings, learning. I did this so that we as a church family could see that our church was, in fact, accomplishing God's mission, even now.

And then I laid out for our church family what I had come to grips with in my time with God. I laid out the realities of our present situation, and presented the steps that we need to take from this point. They are not large steps, but, given our present reality, we will need faith to take them.

So I told them what I believe with every fiber of my being: that God wants us to take these steps because His mission for our community of faith is more significant than we can even imagine. That a church reflecting God's heart for racial and economic diversity is possible here, and worth pursuing with passion and intention. That a faith with Jesus at its core can still rock our world, two thousand years after it first did so.

I will further reduce the amount the church pays me as its pastor, because that is what must be done right now. Our church family will purchase the supplies necessary for our gatherings and donate them, because that is what must be done right now. We will sacrifice, and we will pray like crazy, and we will celebrate every victory, no matter how seemingly insignificant, because that is what must be done right now.

And in doing what must be done right now, we will pave the way for God to do what only He can do.

No more magic event that makes everything better. No more waiting for the cavalry.

On a personal level: this is what I have, God. Guide me from here.

And for our church: this is what we have, God. Guide us from here.

all you need is...well, to receive a gift in the mail

Life gets busy, you know? You're running 'round, trying to get everything done, thinking about where you have to be, and there's a package in the mail. Addressed to you.

Your mind is racing, trying to think of what you might have ordered from Amazon that's just showed up, which means that it's probably just now showing up on your debit card, and Kristy just balanced the checkbook.

Or maybe that's just me.

Anyway, you open the package, and out falls a letter from a dear friend. He read a book, and thought of you, so he picked up a copy and sent it to you. He remembers with fondness the time you've spent together, and he thinks you're doing something significant for God.


And, for a moment, life stands still. The hectic pace of life slows for a second, and you remember your friend, and bask in the glow of how good it feels to be remembered and thought of. You remember your shared experiences, and you thank God that His mission is being accomplished in other places by friends such as these.

And you figure someone else should have that feeling, as well - that momentary pause to reflect on the value of being thought of and remembered. So you plan to pass the experience along...

Thank you, friend.

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By the way, it's a good book. I hope to write a review in the near future.

a week of living out loud

I have returned after a week of speaking at Operation Teens Camp (theme: "Living Out Loud"), which was held at a camp near a lake that they tell me was near Claypool, IN. I wanted to share some random thoughts about the week, and share a few of my images.

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One thing happens when you live in the city: you forget what it's like to drive to a place that's in the country. Our directions took us further and further away from...everything, it seemed like. At one point Shameer said, "We are nowhere."

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I was glad to be able to take Shameer, Joshua, and SoHaan with me for the week. They got to spend time around kids their age who come from backgrounds different than theirs, and they handled it well and learned a lot. God used the time to speak to their hearts, and they made some important decisions that will influence the direction of their lives. Plus, they're my guys, and it's always good to have them around.


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I was invited to come by Pastor Dan Haifley and Camp Director/Youth Pastor Mike Gross, who are part of Grace Bible Baptist Church of New Paris, IN. I've known both of them since I attended Syracuse Christian School, where Dan was on staff and Mike was a fellow student. Mike poured his heart and energy into the week, and his love for the campers was special to watch.

One of the greatest benefits of the week for me was the conversations I got to have, both with Dan and with Mike, about ministry, teenagers, and what following Jesus looks like in the time in which God has placed us. I learned a lot from them, and hopefully added value to their lives, as well. I've enjoyed observing Dan's ministry, and I'm learning a lot from the conversations I'm having with him, and from learning his story.

I also may have gotten roped into doing song parodies with Dan and Mike as part of the group Three Car Pileup. I've never worn a pair of pants that tight in public in my life. I tried to go all Spinal Tap and jump onto the stage, then halfway into the jump, realized what would happen to the pants (and the shred of dignity remaining at that point) if I tried to land the jump. What followed was me landing on the stage, legs straight and stiff, like a fish flopping on the shore.


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The other speaker for the week was Randy Raines, who pastors Fellowship Baptist Church in Mansfield, OH. I knew of Pastor Raines because he followed my dad as pastor of Bible Baptist Church in Ligonier, IN, where I spent my teenage years.

On Tuesday morning, after breakfast, Randy and I made our way to the chapel for the morning gathering. He looked at me and said, "You know, I think it's going to be good for me to spend the week here with you. I have some things I want to pick your brain about."

I remember this moment because it was the first time that I remember someone his age expressing a desire to learn from what I had to offer. And what followed was a precious week of ideas, of back-and-forth, of thoughtful debates, of shared passion for ministry, and the beginning of what I believe will be a great friendship.


He's a prolific writer, and he is beginning to explore the world of self-publishing through Amazon. I got the chance to show him around my online world, and give him some ideas on what a web presence for his writings and ministry might look like.

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The following conversation actually happened between Shameer and Pastor Raines:

Shameer: You know, I didn't think I was going to like you, but you're a good guy. But I don't know if I could do the suspenders thing.

Pastor Raines: These aren't a fashion statement, son. They're holding my pants up.

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I loved preaching to the teenagers. Loved it. Some would say that my style of preaching is best suited to them; in any case, it was a total blast. I also got to preach in jeans and untucked shirts for the week, which I also thoroughly enjoyed. God used the messages He gave to both myself and Pastor Raines, and both Dan and Mike remarked that deep spiritual progress was made through the week.

Instead of telling you about the sermons, I will post the videos here as soon as they are available.

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One of the cool parts of the week was being around Courtney Freeman, the daughter of Doug and Allison Freeman, who were members of my dad's church and who I grew up around. I'm not gonna lie - it made me realize time was going by. (It did not, however, make me feel old.) Courtney is an amazing young lady who has a wonderful heart to love Jesus, and Doug and Allison have every reason to be proud of her.


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As I was introducing myself during the first message of the week, I joked with the teens that I needed this to go well, because I'd never preached a week of camp before, and I really hoped to be able to do it again.

Having experienced the week, I can only say: I do sincerely hope to do it again. Because the friendships I made, the conversations I had, watching God move in the lives of teenagers, was a total blast.

a voice from our community

A few months ago, I attended a Fatherhood Summit hosted by Indianapolis Public Schools #51. Through some follow-up contacts, I was introduced to Kamau Jywanza, who is facilitating greater participation by fathers in the Martindale/Brightwood neighborhood schools. This morning, we met to discuss what the program is about, and so that I could get to know him better.


Kamau has spent his adult life studying and facilitating community initiatives. He has spent more than thirty years working in Indy's neighborhoods, and knows the ins and outs of neighborhood cultures as well as anyone I've met.

As I explore what it looks like for our church to be a blessing within our community, and as I explore what it looks like for our community of faith to reflect the diversity of the community we live in, voices like Kamau's are going to be invaluable.

Just in our short conversation, he mentioned that I would need to think about the lexicon and terminology we would use in engaging our neighborhoods. Thought processes like that will be invaluable as we embrace God's mission for us here.

it went beautifully

Saturday evening, we hosted the first of our "How I Got Here: A Conversation" Series. Our guest was Eric Damron, who installs Gospel radio stations around the world as part of Independent Baptist Media.


Eric and I sat on stools at the front of a semicircular arrangement of chairs, and I asked questions, interview-style, to begin the conversation. (Eric would later refer to himself as the first guest on the "Mike Rowell show.") Eric told us about his background, and how different events and interests moved him toward his calling and his ministry. He shared stories of people coming to faith through the means of radio, and about the potential that the medium holds, especially in less-developed countries where radio is an essential means of communication.

Eric showed us a video presentation of images captured during his most recent installation in Rwanda, and shared stories of what happened to him while he was there. As he spoke, the passion in his heart for what he does was obvious, and it prompted a lot of great questions.

I asked Eric some questions about his training, both on the ministry side and the technical aspects of radio station design and installation. He was honest about his experiences, and was willing to own up to things he wished he'd done differently.

One of my favorite parts of the evening was when I brought Tisa, his wife, into the conversation. I asked her some questions about what it was like to be Eric's partner in ministry, and what the terrain of their relationship had looked like. Tisa was remarkably open about some personal struggles that she faced early in their relationship, and the environment allowed Eric to share his perspective on what she was going through. It was an organic moment: a couple laying open their souls to allow us to see how the inner struggles that lead to deepening relationships with God intersect in a marriage relationship.

Eric also interacted specifically with some in the audience who are moving toward international missions, with some great practical advice. He dealt with some of the quirks of the missionary lifestyle with candid humor, and always brought the conversation back to any sacrifice being more than worth the cost, when viewed in light of the example of Jesus.

The evening was everything I'd hoped it would be. We got the chance to enter into the story of someone - two people, as it turns out - who loves God passionately, and is engaged in a unique ministry career that is directly responsible for millions of people hearing about Jesus. The conversation was completely devoid of pretense, and we got to see the heart of two really great followers of Jesus.